I am NOT Okay (More so a song than a poem)  

Posted by: Phoenixa Nymphadora

 I am not okay.
I got problems in my way.
I gonna cry and shout this song.
About a woman's life gone wrong.
Its not an easy fix.
The pain just makes me sick.
Doctor give me meds.
Its going to my head.

I say I am not okay.
Make it go a-----way.
The pain is oh so strong.
Its lasting way too long.
Kill me with a brick.
Hurry make it-----quick.
The waters' getting red.
Hard for me to-----tread.

Ohhhh make it go away!
Oh make it go away!
Make it---go---a------wayyyyyy!

Letter to You  

Posted by: Phoenixa Nymphadora

This is a letter to YOU.
You know who you are.
To find the guilty person, no one has to look far.
Take a seat down, this journey might be long.
We're gonna look at all the reasons your mother having you was wrong.

For one, you are a liar.
Yes, that is what I said.
How else would you get away with creeping to my bed?
Did you know that you would be covered lie after lie?
Did you know that that young girl would soon want to die?
Probably not, i'm sure you didn't care.
I mean, you were getting what you wanted.
What did you have to fear?
 Who knew that the girl would tell.
I bet you never thought you'd be in a jail cell.
I guess its ok, you didn't stay long.
For some reason that foolish girl thought you being harmed was wrong.
There you go, playing off the innocent feelings of a child.
Eh, but i'm not surprised, isn't that the normal behavior of men that are wild?
Whatever your excuse, theres thing number two.
This one is about how you want me to "properly" treat you.

Do you think you deserve my respect after what you did?
Playing on the mind of a naive little kid?
You can't seriously think its ok to demand the respect of someone you harmed.
Oh shut up, don't look at everyone, playing that you are alarmed.
I laugh at your request, but you know I cry later.
So I guess my facade doesn't hide all the burning, stabbing anger.
I'll tell you this: Even though you see me cry, never will I feel less than you, and you're about to see why.

You are an adulterer, at the end of the day I know you'll concur.
How would you like being honest for once in your life?
How about telling your wife that every time her back was turned, you stabbed her with a knife?
What's even better, is tell her it was her daughter.
Go on, tell her...I wanna see it,
for once I want to see your facade falter.
Of course, you're a coward and never will tell her.
You'll have everyone mad at me, accusing me of the worse crime ever.
I know thats what you want, all eyes to be off you.
Don't worry, one day you'll be shamed and unhappy too.

But, until then I try to keep going through the motions.
My feelings raw, pain unhealed, and relentless emotion.

One day, yaumid deen, you will reap what you sow.
But, again, until then, the world may never know.

Keep living your life acting like you're the victim.
There are but so many lies you can tell in god's kingdom.

I end this letter with peace, because that is what Muslims do.
But my dislike and hate won't end, but I'm sure that----you knew.

I Must Go  

Posted by: Phoenixa Nymphadora

I hate you.
What? Surprised?
Get a god d*** clue.
Don't act like you didn't know.
You've seen it for years.
Yea, I been waiting for you to go.
But still you stay, tormenting my mind.
Confusing my body.
Can't even leave these feelings behind.

I can see its me that must leave, if I want some peace.
Time for me to go, and let this pain be released.

Untitled  

Posted by: Phoenixa Nymphadora

I cry
Inside.
I try
To Hide.
But the rules of my soul,
My heart won't abide.

I bleed
It Dies
I need
To Survive
But my lungs are racing
My heart stops pacing.

From My Eyes  

Posted by: Phoenixa Nymphadora

From my eyes
I've seen your cries
Hidden behind never ending lies.
From my eyes
I see your tears
Nothing to supress your grueling fears.
Afraid to fly high, Afraid to die.
Afraid to live? Afraid to give?


From my eyes, from my eyes...
Whoa your cries!
Whoa your eyes...

Internal Echo  

Posted by: Phoenixa Nymphadora

The name is Faati, look to me.
Do you see, can you see?
There is a slight possibility
That i'm not the person you need me to be?
Howevery, I try...and so I cry...Will this be enough for me to get by?
And so I write, to you my friend, can a wound be healed again and again?
Read this blog with a grain of salt
And what you find----me, do not fault.